(Blog Entry #17) - Unicorn Frappuccino

April 2017

The world was entirely pink, purple, and blue. Every time I opened my phone, there it was: the Unicorn Frappuccino, bright and impossibly cheerful.

Meanwhile, my actual world was gray. I was fading, losing weight rapidly without trying, and spending multiple evenings a week and sometimes nights in the sterile fluorescent light of urgent care and the ER. I was terrified, desperately chasing answers to what was breaking inside of me, and wondering if I would ever feel normal again. That vibrant drink felt like a relic from a universe I no longer had access to—a bright, healthy world where people could just go out and buy a silly, colorful treat.

So much has happened since then. Years of healing, fighting, and putting myself back together piece by piece.

Then came this weekend. At Starbucks, I saw the sign for the re-release. My heart did a strange little flip. Standing in line, watching the barista swirl the blue drizzle inside the cup, felt completely surreal.

When it was finally in my hand, I took a sip. It was sweet, tart, and totally ridiculous. But for a fleeting moment, the heavy shadow of the past nine years just evaporated. I wasn't a medical mystery, a patient, or a collection of old scars. The weight of everything that happened vanished. I was just a person sitting in the afternoon sun, finally getting my Unicorn Frappuccino.